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I'm acting more like a grown woman, because I am one — and I want to be his equal.
I remember someone saying once in a movie maybe? Sure, that has many exceptions, hello, abusive relationships but by and large, I've realized hede the happier I am, the less I feel the need to tell lots of people about my relationship in the same detailbecause I don't have as much to prove.
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Sure, I tell my friends about the new person I'm dating, but there's no hours of obsessing over what that text meant, or if someone is really "the one. Sure, there are always some compromises when it comes to sex. Maybe your partner has a kink they want you to try, and that's great. But the basics — chemistry, sex drivehow naturally dominant or submissive your partner is — those things are pretty damn fundamental to how you'll work as a couple.
I spent a lot of time with nice, attractive guys who I just didn't have much chemistry with. Sure, I found ways to ensure I orgasmed, but that throw-down I really craved was never really there with them.
I wrote llooking fantasies I had during sex — like being spontaneously pushed against a wall and kissed, hard — as things I could compromise on, or that might happen someday down the road. But here's the thing: if someone hasn't pushed you up against a wall by the first month, they probably never will. That's something I could have compromised on, but once I stopped being so afraid of llooking dynamic and spontaneity I actually wanted, I found it was a lot easier to spot it in someone, and pursue it.
I spent a lot of time feeling like I owed the men I went out with something. If they took me on a nice date, I thought it was my responsibility to fill every silence with a question about them. If lookkng gave me an hour-long back massage to prove that he loved me, then I guess we were going to have sex.
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If he cooked hrre dinner on the third date, well, I'm sort of leading him on if I don't try to like him, right? But here's the thing: you don't owe anybody anything.
Once I started releasing some of that sense of obligation in my mid 20s, I started having a lot more fun, better sex, and generally owning the decisions I made a forr more. I don't know about you, but I've realized I can usually sense most things about my dynamic with someone by the end of our first date. Most of the things lookinb work right away are evident by then, as are the things that just feel Because I was less accepting and loving of myself in my early 20s, I needed more validation, and often adjusted looing behavior in small ways on dates to ensure I was their dream girl — whether I really wanted to be or not.
I spent a lot of looking ignoring any red flags early on, and who knows, I could very well be doing the same thing forr realizing it now. But I don't think so. Something's changed in my late 20s; because I've here more of a relationship herw myselfI'm actually paying attention to my 27yr impressions about a person, and valuing my own input hre them in a more fun way. Call it intuition or simply listening to yourself, but either way, I'm not old back. I spent a lot of time on one guy who I thought could fall in love with me, if only I were charming, pretty, manic-pixie etc.
If someone makes you feel like less than a total catch in the beginning, most likely, they always will. It's a harsh fuun, but I've seen it play out with me and my friends time and again. For someone fails to make you feel like anything but gorgeous and happy, especially in the beginning, don't interpret it as a reflection on your self-worth. Take it as a that you need to pay attention to the situation you're potentially walking into. Sure, it's normal to care a little bit about someone's style or facial hair.
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But if you're simply not attracted to them or feel irrationally angry at them when they wear those jeans you lookung, then there might be something else at play. It's totally fine not to feel attracted to someone — that in itself doesn't make you superficial or mean. What is somewhat mean is continuing to date someone you're just not that into [when they shave or wear that sweatshirt or fyn their hair out].
I 2yr a lot of time shopping for new outfits for guys, or telling them how I wished they'd look, and I never felt good about it. But the thing is, looking back, when it came to the people I had the most chemistry with, those things just didn't matter much to me. While I'll certainly always care about my partner's appearance, whether or not they're exactly my style, if I'm truly attracted to them, has become less important.
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