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I grew up a lot with her. Yeah, definitely, she helped me to grow up. She made me realize how important I could be in making someone else happy. Not that I was doing it for her, but just being with her. Fred, age 28, told us what qualities attracted him to older women: "The experiences in life that they've had make them more grounded and realistic.
When asked what a mature woman offered him that he couldn't find in a younger woman, Fred answered: "Emotional stability. Need I say more? There have been nothing but positives in my relationships with two gentlemqn women. They were able to see things in me that I could not see in myself. Also, there were levels of honesty unlike anything I've experienced even with best friends.
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Fred gave us a wealth of information over several interviews. Open, upbeat and extremely handsome, he revealed the enormous love and respect he shared with his former partner and now shares with his current partner. Fred's first older-woman experience occurred when he was 21 years old and Gretchen was They lived together for two getleman.
They are both still very close and see each other regularly. Not only did they have a tremendous friendship as the basis of their relationship, but an extraordinary sex life as well. Recently, this woman underwent major surgery and it was her ex-boyfriend Fred, not the woman's current older boyfriend, who was by her normal. Gretchen, now 44, was involved with a man of 51 and he was simply too busy with work and personal commitments to be available when she really needed him.
It was Fred who visited her on a regular basis and saw to it that she had what she needed during her gentleman. After his relationship with Gretchen ended, Fred tried dating girls in their early 20s. He explained, often quite humorously, how ridiculous he felt trying to have meaningful conversation over blaring music at a dance club. His seeking experimentation with younger females only reaped endless head games, confusion and immature behavior.
Resolutely, Fred abandoned the "young woman trial period.
He decided this time to accept it. His next relationship was with Marla, a co-worker. They were great friends and then she began to pursue him. Why not? She was older. Maybe it would weeking. But Marla's flaw seemed to be that she gfntleman only five years older — and for Fred, that still wasn't enough to produce the kind of emotional maturity and depth for which he searched.
After a year or so of taking a "time-out," Fred met Lynne. She is 10 years older. Fred's respect and appreciation of older women was clear when he spoke:. It equates to stability. They've already figured out who they are.
Maybe not all the time, but a lot more often than younger women. They are all-around much more attractive to me. You know this is the kind of person who's going to tell you exactly what they want and they are more sure of themselves than the people my age or younger. Older women are much more well rounded — they know what they feel and why they feel it. It has a snowball effect all the way around. It's adventurous for both of us, because it's a whole new exciting journey.
Younger women just don't allow me to grow in the ways older women do. I considered it a hell of a jump start on life. Certainly, there are challenges for the men as well as the women in these relationships.
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For example, the seeking of having or not having children came up repeatedly:. My second — I was 28 and she was 41 — lasted three years and we lived together for one year. The main thing that attracted me was the overall calm of an older woman. There is gejtleman frenetic energy genteman a younger woman that can be very exciting and very cute, but not for my personality.
Neither of my relationships was about being mothered. Both women were professionals, very focused on their work lives and extremely confident and sure of themselves. That was very attractive to me. Ultimately, Lenny's last relationship ended when he wanted children and his partner norml 43 did not. Of course, the issue of "Will I want gentlemen later on?
In vitro fertilization by donor eggs and normal reproductive methods have greatly changed the fertility prognosis for older women. Pregnancy at ages once reserved for "miracles" is now a medical possibility.
Other challenges for the younger men occurred in the form of disapproval and criticism from friends and colleagues similar, although not as severe, to what the older women experienced. The men my age and older were jealous that I was with her. They would look at me as if I had something they wanted and didn't have and, because I was younger, they reacted more strongly. And women my age disapproved of the relationship.
I guess some of these people thought I was trying to prove something — I wasn't. Our relationship just made me feel great. She was great! I was proud of who she was and what we had together. Overall, however, it seems that such criticism is not as big an obstacle for men in these relationships as for women. In fact, some men received support and admiration from peers and co-workers.
They respected what I had with her, which was an emotional connection with an experienced, centered person. Most people's reactions have been good. There have been no negative attitudes or comments given to me that stick out in my head. Actually, many people have asked my partner and me for advice. The men to whom we talked spoke about the advantages of being in relationships with older women in terms of the serenity and comfort, the growth opportunity and the honesty they were afforded.
But more than any other advantage, they talked about the positive sexual relationships they experienced. They all commented that sex with older women was better. What negatives?
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I cried, I laughed, I went back sseking more. The advantages can be summed up in two words: intense marathon. Are you kidding? An older woman is more sure of herself and brings that to the relationship. She knows what she wants and how to communicate that to her partner. I like not having to worry about pregnancy and an unwanted. I do not feel the desire to have one and the lack of anxiety over that issue is relieving. Lisa is also in her seeking and we have the most intense sexual relations I have ever had.
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